The last week of prayer and meditation has been leading up to this morning. Today was the day to make the final decision on whether to take a job that payed really well, and that would be a solution to all our financial issues, but that would take me away from home for at least fifteen months. Below is a summary of how we made the decision.
1. Our children's input. Veronica brought up the book "The Five Love Languages" yesterday when talking with Bobbie. She had taken the test to find out her 'love language', and felt the test really was valid. She told me today how important it was to have a family that she could fall back on when times get hard. (Bobbie started thinking that her love language was acts of service, and that if I was away for a long time, she might start to 'feel' distant from me because her needs were not being met.) Michael did something very unusual this morning. We just finished praying and were ready for our morning coffee and Bible reading. He sent a FB message and said he probably had a ride up this weekend (he comes home to do laundry and play ping pong if there isn't a group in the chapel) and wanted to know if we had a group up. Michael then probably gave the most convincing answer to our question of God's will in making this decision when he said that he had a friend he wanted to bring up. He wanted us to spend some time interacting with her so she could see an example of a good marriage. Wow, and this came from Michael, who chooses his words carefully. And last night, we asked Jeremy directly what he thought about the decision. He was really clear about what he felt; relationships trump everything. They are more important than possessions, or money, or vacations or jobs...they trump everything. One of his questions made it starkly clear that I would be leaving my family simply for more money. And he said the relationship Bobbie and I have would suffer if we were apart. Jessica doesn't even know about the job possibility because she has been preparing for her final nursing test today, and we didn't want her to be distracted. p.s. - Talked with Jessica after her test. Her response was "Every time you've interviewed for jobs away from home I've asked why. You know it won't be good for the family, especially your marriage. The retreat is getting more and more business, so why leave now? And I agree with Jeremy, once you leave home you begin to understand how important relationships are. Not everyone has that opportunity!"
2. Bobbie's drive in to work this morning. After praying and clearing her mind, the words to a song came to her mind and she sang "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you". She took that to mean what it says, focus on God's spiritual kingdom above all! The verse "It is not good that man should be alone" also came to her mind. Bobbie ended our phone call with the following: I just have to remind myself that God wants me to be content with what I have, and with the situation I find myself in. We have an amazing property, with so much infrastructure already in place. Concerning the ministry we have here at the property, we can focus on getting the grounds and structures we already have in great shape and being used fully. The other dreams can just wait until God provides the funds. She also said she felt God telling her that He had already told her His answer: Listen to your husband. (Great! Now the decision is back with me!)
3. Bobbie and I both looked back at the years I spent away from home in Atlanta and South Carolina and realized that we were just in a holding pattern, looking forward the time when we would be together full-time. We did not grow spiritually, and there was a sense of frustration for both of us. She said that there is no comparison to how she has felt the last two years since I've been back home.
4. This morning, we read from John 3:25-36. It stood out to me that neither Jesus or John the Baptist left their disciples to go to Egypt in order to make better money so they could build a school to teach. Jesus didn't have a place to lay His head, and John was in the wilderness.
5. Last night, we discussed how none of the Christians of old who lived lives we respect (Mueller, Nee, Taylor, Finney...) left their families, and put their relationships on hold while they went to make more money so they could build better buildings. They all focused on people...relationships, and God provided what they needed.
6. We both see great opportunities in the Christian community locally. We are challenged each time we meet with other Christians. We believe this will only get better.
7. I met with my friend Warren last Sunday. In summary he said that although he didn't see anything wrong with taking the job, that he felt it would have a negative impact on our marriage. He told me about a job decision he had made earlier in life when he was offered a promotion that would have forced his family to move. While praying he felt as if God brought to his memory the times when he had told people how important his family was to him. Then he felt God saying this is what you've said with your mouth, now will you live it? He turned down the job. He also felt the same way Jeremy did, relationships are more important than anything else in life.
8. Finally, I remembered back to all the times I've made decisions based on money or what I felt would be the most interesting job. I know that my decisions must be based on spiritual criteria if they are to stand the test of time, even when it appears to me that there is an easy way to 'fix' all my pressing issues.
In summary, we are opening a new chapter in our lives. One where we focus on the people in the place we are instead of always looking over the horizon. I didn't accept the job offer.
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